学位英语

The First Four Minutes

When do people decide whether or not they want to become friends? During their first four minutes together, according to a book by Dr. Leonard Zunin. In his book, ”Contact： The first four minutes" ’ he offers this advice to anyone interested in starting new friendships： “(1) A lot of people's whole lives would change if they did just that. ”

You may have noticed that the average person does not give his undivided attention to someone he has just met.(2)If anyone has ever done this to you, you probably did not like him very much.

When we are introduced to new people, the author suggests, we should try to appear fiiendly and self-confident. In general, he says, “People like people who like themselves1. ”

On the other hand, we should not make the other person think we are too sure of ourselves. It is important to appear interested and sympathetic，realizing that the other person has his own needs， fears, and hopes.

Hearing such advice, one might say, "But I'm not a fiiendly, self-confident person. That's not my nature. It would be dishonest for me to act that way. ”

(3) We can become accustomed to any changes we choose to make in our personality. “It is like getting used to a new car. It may be unfamiliar at first, but it goes much better than the old one. ”

But isn't it dishonest to give the appearance of friendly self-confidence when we don't actually feel that way? Perhaps, but according to Dr. Zunin, "total honesty" is not always good for social relationships2 ’ especially during the first few minutes of contact. There is a time for everything, and a certain amount of play-acting may be best for the first few minutes of contact with a stranger3 . That is not the time to complain about one's health or to mention faults one finds in other people. It is not the time to tell the whole truth about one's opinions and impressions.

(4) For a husband and wife or a parent and child, problems often arise during their first four minutes together after they have been apart. Dr. Zunin suggests that these first few minutes together be treated with care. If there are unpleasant matters to be discussed, they should be dealt with later.

The author says that interpersonal relations should be taught as a required course5 in everyschool, along with reading, writing, and mathematics. — (5) That is at least as important as how much we know.

词汇：

undivided 不分散的，专一的 personality 个性，人格

accustomed 惯常的

注释：

1.People like people who like themselves.人们喜欢那些有自信心的人。这里的who like themselves不作“喜欢自己”解，根据上下文，可以解释为“有自信的人”。

2."total honesty" is not always good for social relationships:在社会关系上“绝对的诚实”并非总是好的。

3.... a certain amount of play-acting may be best for the first few minutes of contact with a stranger. ??…?在和陌生人接触的头几分钟，适当演一点儿戏是最合适不过的了。

4.apply to:适用于

5.required course:必修课

练习：

A In reply, Dr. Zunin would claim that a little practice can help us feel comfortable about

changing our social habits. B Much of what has been said about strangers also applies to4 relationships with family members and friends.

C In his opinion, success in life depends mainly on how we get along with other people. D Every time you meet someone in a social situation, give him your undivided attention for four minutes.

E He keeps looking over the other person's shoulder, as if hoping to find someone more interesting in another part of the room.

F He is eager to make friends with everyone.

答案与题解：

1.D本文主要讲与人初次见面最初四分钟对于人际交往的重要性。文章开头以自问自答的 形式提出主题,然后说Leonard Zunin博士在书中向任何想交新朋友的人提出一条建议。什 么建议呢?比较一下只有把D放在这里最合适，因为人们常用祈使句向别人提建议，D是一 个祈使句，它的意思是：“每次你在社交场合遇到什么人时，全神贯注地注意他四分钟。”和上下文意思连贯。

2.E承接上一段。作者在本段第一句话告诉我们有人并不按他建议的那样做。那么这些人 怎么做呢? E说:“他不停地往其他人身后看，好像要在屋里其他地方找到更有趣的人似 的。”显然此处选E最合适。

3.A文章第三、第四段建议当被引见给陌生人时,态度应当友好而自信，还应掌握好分寸。对 此有人会说友好和自信非我本性，如果硬要装出如此态度就是不诚实。这是一种反驳意见， 我们期待作者的回答。A说:“作为回答，Zunin博士说只要我们稍加练习就可以帮助我们改 变社交习惯。”下文是对此的进一步解释。

4.B到此为止作者主要谈与陌生人相处要注意最初四分钟。从其他句子来看，本段谈的是家 庭成员之间在交往中也应注意在一起的最初四分钟，那么选项B是最合适的了^

5.C本段强调人际关系的重要性，C说:“在他看来，成功主要依赖于如何与他人友好相处。” 这句话的意思符合本段主题，后一句的主语this指的就是与人友好相处这件事。

译文：最初四分钟

人们什么时候决定他们是否愿意成为朋友?按列奥纳多·祖尼博士的书中所说是在他们相处 的最初四分钟。在他的书《接触：最初四分钟》里，他向所有对开始新的友谊感兴趣的人们提出 了这样的建议：“每次你在社交场合遇到什么人时，全神贯注地注意他四分钟。许多人如果这样做了的话，他们的生活就会完全不同。”

你可能已经注意到了，一般人都不会全神贯注地注意一个他刚认识的人。他不停地往其他 人身后看，好像要在屋里其他地方找到更趣的人似的。如果有人对你这样，你大概不会很喜欢他。

作者建议，当我们被介绍给新认识的人时，我们应该尽力显得友好和自信。一般讲，他说：“人们喜欢那些有自信心的人。”

另一方面我们不能让别人觉得我们太自以为是。表现出感兴趣、有同情心，能意识到别人有他们自己的需要、担心和希望是很重要的。

听到这样的建议，有人或许会说：“但是我不是一个友好的、自信的人。那不是我的天性。我 如果那样做将是不诚实的。” ’

作为回答，祖尼博士说只要我们稍加练习就可以帮助我们改变社交习惯。对我们选择的个 性上的改变我们会慢慢习惯。“这就像适应一辆新车。 一开始会觉得陌生，但它比旧车好开。”

但是当我们不觉得友好且自信的时候却给人那样的表象，这是诚实吗?可能是，但是祖尼博士认为在社会关系上“绝对的诚实”并非总是好的，尤其是在接触的最初四分钟里。任何事情都有时间限制。在和陌生人接触的头几分钟，适当演一点儿戏是最合适不过的了。那种时候不适于 抱怨健康状况或谈论别人的缺点，也不适于全盘托出某人的观点和印象。

以上有关陌生人的建议有很多也适合于家庭成员和朋友间的关系。对于丈夫和妻子或父母与 孩子来说，久别重逢的前几分钟最容易出问题。祖尼博士建议认真对待离别重逢的最初四分钟。 如果有不愉快的事情需要讨论，也应该稍后再说。

作者说每个学校都应该把人与人之间的关系作为必修课，和阅读、写作、数学等一起上。他 认为一生中的成功主要看我们如何与别人相处。至少这和我们拥有的知识一样重要。

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