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Dear accommodation officer:  
I’m Lily, a sophomore in our university majoring in French. I’m writing to you because I want to ask your help (删)for changing for a new single room in next semester.  
As for the reasons why I’d like to change my room, there’re the following points. Now I share the room with another girl. I find that living with someone else is not as pleasant as it seemed to me before, for I can’t keep (enjoy)my privacy and do things freely as I’ve (had) hoped for. Moreover, she always has friends visiting, which makes it hard for me to concentrate on my work and even to have a good rest. Last but not the least, as I want to receive (pursue) the (post)graduate education after graduation, I should prepare for the examination with a great deal of concentration from now on. 
So I’d like to live in a single room next year. I appreciate it very much if you would help me.  
Best   
Wishes  
Yours sincerely  
Lily  
句子结构不错，内容也尚可，逻辑分明。  December 23,2008
To Accommodation Officer:
I am sorry to trouble you. But i serious have no idea. (for it seems I have no other choices but to write to you for help)
I wants to change a room next term, because my roomate always has friends visiting.when I looked the book that they was deeply affected me so I can’t serious studise.(Almost every time I read ,I am greatly bothered by them, making me hardly concentrate on my study )If somebody noise nearly me When i am looking the book that i would very angry.(what is the worse is that when I am bothered I am easy to be lost in great depression and even anger.)
I would be take part in the examination for the graduate student.( Also, I will attend the entrance exam for the postgraduate , which requires a quiet surroundings for me to study well and rest well.)therefor i want (to ) live only myself (so) that i can put all myself into the studies. I am very need a room to study. Can you help me?
Expecting you answer!
yours
recebcca
句子错误较多，内容表达不清，尚需努力。

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